I sit here
with myself,
thinking
watching
writing.
Time has passed
and come
and gone,
and crawled
and run
and flown.
I sit here.
Stop and think.
And there might have been days
when I haven’t though about you.
I'm not really sure...
Wow,
I'll take that as a win.
For me,
for you
For We.
I sit here.
There might have been days
when you havent crossed my mind.
Liberating
me
Freeing
me
But also
Guilt - y
Why are you here?
guilt.
Go away, guilt,
you are not welcome here,
guilt.
I've given enough to you already;
you are welcome
but now
Go
Away
Guilt.
Please.
Ease.
I sit here,
“doing me”.
Not thinking about you,
not doing you.
Not thinking,
you.
Not feeling,
you.
I sit here,
with myself
by myself
for myself,
for once.
I sit here.
I look around...
and I see this guy at the bar.
Young guy
Skinny guy
Tall guy
Here.
He orders a beer.
He looks my way,
not at me,
my self,
just my way.
And he is smiling,
and his eyes get really really tiny.
He looks happy.
I sit here,
and for a thousandth of a second
he is you.
I see you,
here.
My young you
My skinny you
My tall you
My beautiful you
(my self)
ordering a beer
looking my way
(not at me)
and smiling
with your really really tiny eyes
when you smile.
And you look happy.
My self.
And I’m not by myself anymore.
And you are there,
and I’m here,
and I sit here,
and I drop a tear...
And I keep writing,
for you, now.
I sit here.
But only until the tear is gone.
I’ll give my self,
and your self,
That.
Before I take a deep breath,
close my notebook,
and walk away.
I walk away,
step by step.
Back to me,
letting you,
go.
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